


I Am Me (Not Your God)

by A_Shark_Named_Max



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Crimson Flower route spoilers, F/F, Gen, I also basically ruined the mystery but y'know whatever, title makes it sound more hardcore but like no
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-06 11:18:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20290588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Shark_Named_Max/pseuds/A_Shark_Named_Max
Summary: As the reconstruction of Fódlan is underway and they plan their inevitable battle against Those Who Slither In The Dark, Byleth runs into a familiar face.





	I Am Me (Not Your God)

**Author's Note:**

> Me furiously googling what the hell do Empires even do only to realize that it's too much information so I had to make up some shit.
> 
> EDIT: I changed a few lines of dialogue to better reflect and hint towards the truth of the crests. I am truly sorry if this bothered anyone.

It was rare for Enbarr to experience cool weather, when Byleth had first moved to the capital, she was not prepared for how dry and humid the air was and mostly stuck to staying within the shade of the palace, only going out during cloudy days. During her time traveling with her father as a mercenary, they have gone to many places where the weather was uncomfortably warm but never as bad as it was the first few months she started living here. Byleth had always prefer to wear much darker clothes, but had to force themselves to wear lighter and even forgoing her cloak and jacket, it was horrible.

As time passed and Byleth could finally say she had grown accustomed enough to the weather to feel comfortable wearing her usual dark clothing aesthetic, Petra still didn’t understand how she could stand warm weather in such heavy clothing whenever her and Dorothea would visit from Brigid, she just chalked it up to a matter of endurance.

Petra thought she was in her own words, "nuts".

The last couple of years had been hectic, between meetings with the nobility, the reconstruction of areas affected the most by the war, negotiations towards the former Kingdom and Alliance territories and setting up communications beyond their borders (Claude's idea), it seemed to be never ending but it was all worth it. Slowly but surely they were seeing the fruits of their labor.

Today was a slow one, Edelgard was being confined inside the palace, mostly having to review and sign documents and having meetings over resources and the like. Byleth normally would have stayed, but she was practically pushed out the door by her wife with the words “one of us at least deserves to see the light of day for once”.

So Byleth had spent the better part of the afternoon wandering around the capital city, gazing at all the shops and just taking in the environment. Living as a mercenary, Byleth never really stayed in one location for very long, usually passing through villages and cities, staying just long enough to rest and restock supplies before it they had to hit the road again. The closest to what she called home was the woods, the various environments around she would see like the mountains and plains, it was what she grew accustomed to, but now Byleth could say the capital city has become familiar to her heart.

As she was greeted by a group of children, starstruck to see one of the Emperor's Generals that had fought in the war, Byleth could feel the smile on her face as they cheered and ran off. After the war, there had been so much to do in making sure they could get started right away in dissolving the nobility and preparing to take their next battle to Those Who Slither In The Dark, once they had found some breathing room, they had a small private ceremony between themselves and their friends. 

It was wonderful and one of the happiest moments in their lives.

Though afterwards, the public wondered about this mysterious woman who stood beside their Emperor, they knew about House Vestra and the role they play in as servants to House Hresvelg, but not of this unnamed woman and soon rumors started to circulate, Hubert warned them if they let this fester for much longer that it could turn negative. So Byleth gave them an idea, hold a public banquet to reward those who gave efforts in the war, that would give them a chance to formally introduce herself to the public and hopefully shift their views to a more positive one.

While Hubert was hesitant about letting in so many into the palace, ultimately they all agreed it was the best idea. As the preparations were underway, the rumors and whispers quieted down for a bit and turned to excitement over the event, while there were events in the past of the public being invited onto the palace grounds, they were never allowed inside. 

They had to endure Hubert's dark aura of meticulously planning every possible threat that could befall them, they avoided him as much as possible except for when he needed their input over certain matters, Ferdinand was the only one who could stand him while he was like this. The night of the banquet was spectacular, food and live music, Byleth honestly preferred this lively atmosphere compared to the somber ball during their academy days, what made it even better was the first dance with Edelgard was promised to her.

Hubert had surprised them both when he recommended this, saying it would help open the public up to the idea of seeing them together. 

He wasn't going to hear any complaints from either of them.

At the beginning of the night, Byleth mostly stuck hovering around the other Black Eagles, while the attention on her had shifted away during the time preparing for the banquet, it didn't mean the mystery over her had dissipated, now that Byleth was within reach and almost arms length away, their attention had now shifted back around towards her and had increased tenfold. She could feel their eyes on her every time her back was turned, and it put her on edge; considering the nature of the night, Byleth was not allowed to carry a sword except for a concealed dagger. By the time the ceremony part of the night had arrived, Byleth was more than ready to just collapse on the floor, instead they took their place off to the side next to Edelgard as did Hubert and watched as one by one their friends and allies were awarded their service to the Empire. As more names were called and none were herself, Byleth was becoming more and more suspicious, when Hubert’s name was called and the only possible one left could be herself, it was there than Byleth realized what he did, she tried her best to subtly send a glare his way but he remained perfectly enigmatic.

Damn him.

Once Hubert had returned to his spot, Edelgard waited a moment before addressing the crowd once more. “And now, lastly, it was this person’s continued support that kept us afloat during those trying times even before we became the Empire's sword. They believed in our fight and wanted just as much to free us from the tyranny of the false gods and bring justice to those weighed down by responsibilities and burdens they had no say in, if it wasn't for them I wouldn't be standing here before you. Lady Byleth, if you would please."

With that cue, Byleth moved from her spot, ignoring all the curious stares focusing on her even more now and knelt before Edelgard. “For your continued service and loyalty to the Empire, I reward you with the highest honor.” Hubert handed her a more than ostentatious medal that none of them really cared for, this was just for show and more for the people of the Empire than them, Byleth remembers Edelgard scoffing once she was shown the final design for them.

Byleth felt the weight of the medal as the ribbon settled around her neck, she felt Edelgard slowly ease her hands across her shoulders as she rose to stand before her, a gently pressure more for Byleth than herself. She was surprised when Edelgard took one of her hands in hers. “I would also like to give you my eternal gratitude, my teacher.”

Byleth watched, the thought and anxiety of the crowd easily slipped away from her mind as Edelgard leaned down and kissed the back of her hand, the feeling of her wife's lips lightly pressing against her skin made her feel light-headed. She was caught off guard so much that Byleth could feel her face heating up, which would probably be the only visible sign to anyone else in the room that wasn't her former students of how flustered she was, while her range of displaying emotions was getting better, it was still mostly subdued.

Needless to say, whatever the public’s opinion of the nature of Byleth or her relationship towards their Emperor was completely flipped.

Even more so when the first dance for that night was shared between Edelgard and Byleth, they would later hear from Dorothea that they both cut an extremely impressive sight, how the conversation for the rest of the night was of the Emperor and of her teacher.

Edelgard brushed her fingers against the back of Byleth’s neck. “You look quite dashing tonight.” Byleth laughed, “You can thank Ferdinand for that, he was quite insistent that I needed to have formal wear that wasn’t just what I usually wore.” She remembers how he practically hunted her down and shoved numerous designs in her face, arguing that Byleth’s usual armor and cloak were NOT going to pass, she made sure to shut down anything involving a dress or skirt for combat purposes. 

What transpired from their bickering was something of an evolution of her former attire; a black gambeson similar to her old top with padded armor underneath and black gloves, black trousers with leg armor (she was allowed to keep her old boots), Byleth made sure to stand her ground over keeping her cloak with the symbol of her father’s old mercenary group. Ferdinand agreed but asked if he could add something to it that he assured she would love, so now her cloak had a nice red lining, they completed the look with a small broach of the symbol of the Andrestian Empire.

Edelgard looped her arm under Byleth’s, pressing her hand against her back as she leaned against her, feeling the steady thump of Byleth's heart. “Remind me to thank him then.”

The rest of the night was a blur, but it was ultimately a success for their original intent, the people of Enbarr were clamoring to know who Byleth was and the possible romantic nature of their relationship. She probably only fueled their imagination whenever she was stopped on her walks through the city and was asked “Her Majesty is quite lovely and beautiful” or “You’re quite close to our Emperor”, she would always answered honestly, she would later hear from Hubert how everyone was convinced of a romantic affair between the two of them.

They weren’t wrong at least, it would make things easier when they would eventually go public with their relationship, Dorothea hinted of the possible artistic view of their love story being a perfect opera.

Byleth entered the Enbarr Imported Goods and Bookstore, she loved how they had things not located in Fódlan, it amazed her how there were so many different places and cultures that haven’t been seen beyond Brigid and Almyra. Byleth hoped that one day, Edelgard and her could maybe visit those places together.

She waved to the shopkeeper and walked towards the imported books near the back, Fleche stood a few feet away to keep guard but still give Byleth some sense of privacy. She had come a long way from the war, becoming Byleth’s personal guard when she would leave the palace grounds, she was sure that her brother would be proud of all she had accomplished.

As Byleth ran her hands over the book spines and pulled out one at random, she skimmed through the first few pages and was only able to read something about a Dragon Princess who was kidnapped by a rival warring country before she felt step up behind her. “Excuse me, are you Lady Byleth?”

She turned and was stunned..

Byleth recognized her light green hair and eyes right away, Flayn stood in front of her.

She quickly look over toward Fleche, who didn’t seem even aware anything had changed or was wrong, Byleth wondered how she even was here since she was standing towards the back of the store where it was a dead end and the only way Flayn would be standing before her would be if she had passed by Fleche. Byleth felt her heart start beating rapidly, wondering if Seteth would materialize and attack her while she was distracted.

“I’m not here for any reason other than to talk. Briefly.”

Byleth swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded.

They stood in silence for a few moments, Byleth’s eyes flitted around, half expecting Seteth to appear out of nowhere and attack her. Flayn tried to meet her eyes but cast them down, choosing to fidget with the sleeves of her dress. “I guess I shouldn’t waste your time. I just want to know, why?”

Byleth sighed.

“I know. It seems like a ridiculous thing to ask out of nowhere years later. But I guess I just need to hear it from you.”

Byleth closed the book she was holding, running her fingers over the golden etching on the cover. “How much did you know about the abuse those behind the scenes did towards noble children over the crests? How children born with one were basically marketed off like prized meat?”

She could hear Flayn take in a shaky breath. “I knew some of it. But there wasn’t really much we could do to change it without outing ourselves and putting targets on our backs.”

Byleth sighed. “Do you know about the things they did to Edelgard and her siblings, to Lysithea?” She gripped the book in her hands, her wedding ring she wore underneath her gloves rubbed roughly against her finger.

“El still has nightmares, they aren’t as bad as they were years ago, but they still happen. Lysithea’s life is on a ticking clock, she strives so hard to prove herself knowing she won’t be with us very long. Can you honestly say the ‘Goddess’s gift’ was worth their pain?”

She didn’t wait for Flayn to respond. “I know you were excited when Sothis’ power was awakened in me, Rhea too, I could see it in the way you acted towards me afterwards, as if suddenly I would solve all your problems. But you never once asked me how I felt about it, maybe it was my fault for not voicing it, I guess I was just afraid of what I would learn.”

Byleth sighed. “I never wanted to be anything other than myself, Edelgard originally wanted to ask my help to complete her goals but as I continued to guide her and the Black Eagles, she changed her mind and only wanted me to stay by her side. She only wanted me, Byleth." She thumbed her wedding ring, feeling the etchings across the metal. "She was so certain that I would side against her in the Holy Tomb. But how could I, when she only wanted me, she only wanted the ex-mercenary, her professor, Byleth."

She turned towards Flayn. "That's more than I could ever ask for, she gave me something I never thought I could ever have." Byleth hovers over her heart, feeling it thump in her chest. Flayn didn't say anything before gazing back up towards her. “So you don’t regret anything?”

“No, I don’t.”

Flayn closed her eyes and gave her a tired smile. “Thank you for telling me, and for what is worth. I am sorry.” Byleth nodded. “I have to get going.”

“I understand. Goodbye, Professor. And I hope you and Edelgard live a happy live together, maybe one day I'll tell you everything.”

Byleth slowed in her steps and mumbled a 'thank you' before she made her way to pay for her books and left the store, not daring to look back knowing the girl would be gone. If Fleche noticed how pensive she was on their way back to the palace, then she was gratefully she didn’t say anything, she knew that once she returned that she wouldn’t be able to hide it from Edelgard and would have to ultimately tell her of what had transpired in that tiny bookstore, she could only hope it didn't add more to Edelgard's worries, they both had too much on their plate to think about.

Hubert wasn't happy once he was informed, excusing himself and mumbling about preparations and plans. Edelgard was more concerned about Byleth, letting the rest of their night be just holding each other until they grew too tired to stay awake.

Later that night when dreams of a war and a young girl on a throne woke Byleth and kept her from sleeping, she chose to gaze at Edelgard as she slumbered. Watching her breathe and listened to her quiet murmurs eased her anxiety that was buzzing through her mind, gently running her fingers through her platinum blonde hair that spilled over their pillows, the moonlight that shone from their balcony windows almost making Edelgard glow. 

No, she didn’t regret anything.

**Author's Note:**

> I based Byleth's look on this person's armor redesign, a lot of the time I see other's just place m!Byleth's armor on fem!Byleth and I don't like how it looks on her. So those who do resigns for fem!Byleth where it looks like it's her own are my favorite. I do like the Officer's academy outfit they gave her, but I want pants y'know lol
> 
> I also liked to believe that Byleth likes their cloak and jacket as a nice buffer, like social armor.
> 
> https://twitter.com/petiteocs/status/1161747366724157440


End file.
